Relationship Struggles as Invitations

At the heart of my work with couples is the belief that relationship struggles are not signs of failure: they are invitations to understand each other more deeply. Most partners are not fighting about dishes, sex, or schedules; they are reacting to old patterns, unspoken fears, and unmet longings that neither person learned how to articulate when they were younger.

Looking Beneath the Relational Dynamic

I approach relationships through a warm, attachment-based lens informed by psychoanalytic thinking. Many couples come in with a familiar energetic pattern: one partner feeling overwhelmed by emotion, urgency, or longing for closeness, and the other feeling pressured, misunderstood, or retreating into analysis, control, or distance. I help both partners slow down these reactive positions so we can understand what each is actually protecting, expressing, or fearing.

My work often involves helping the emotionally expressive partner turn some of their intensity inward - toward their own needs, agency, and grounding - while supporting the more controlled or withdrawn partner in taking responsibility for their impact, showing up with more openness, and reorganizing their way of relating.

I recognize the deeper emotional logic behind defenses such as withdrawal, anger, shutdown, caretaking, intellectualizing, or criticism, and help couples find safer, more honest ways of reaching for each other.

Understanding the Stories You Bring

Rather than assigning blame, our work focuses on making the relationship a more secure place for both people. We explore the internal narratives each partner carries from their family history, past relationships, and personal wounds, and how these stories shape communication, intimacy, and expectations.

As partners develop greater clarity, new possibilities emerge:

• Cycles soften

• Trust can be repaired

• Intimacy becomes easier to access

I am also comfortable taking sides when necessary - not to declare a “right” partner, but to interrupt relational patterns where one person is carrying too much of the emotional labor or where accountability has been unevenly distributed.

Specialized Work With Couples Facing Compulsive Sexual Behavior

I’m particularly interested in helping couples navigate compulsive sexual behavior, infidelity, secrecy, and difficulties related to desire and shame. These dynamics often destabilize power, trust, and emotional safety within a couple. My focus is on helping the acting-out partner understand the internal logic of their behavior and take meaningful responsibility, while supporting the injured partner in reclaiming clarity, boundaries, and self-trust.

Therapy becomes a space where the relational system can reset, and where rupture can be repaired with honesty and structure, not collapse.

Creating Conditions for Repair and Growth

My role is to help couples create the conditions for repair and growth - to help each partner feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe enough to show up authentically. Whether we are healing after a violation of trust, navigating long-standing patterns, or strengthening connection, I support couples in building relationships that feel more grounded, resilient, and aligned with the kind of partnership they truly want.